People call me Crazy

New job commences... TMR!

2010-01-13T05:01:00.000-08:00

Yeppy, got myself a new job and will start work tmr!!! Thing is, I just got well, and I still feel groggy... Sobs... Me wants a nice little hug...

I feel awful about acting so bitchy and selfish for the past week... I wanna whack myself... I'm so sorry to everybody... I was really a bitch back there... Maybe still am...

Maybe I oughtta get meringues for everybody. Ooh, those cute little meringues were adorable... :P

Feeling sick... Literally

2010-01-12T03:48:00.000-08:00

I fell sick yesterday... Felt so terrible I even cried... Felt like I was dying... I've always been rather frail and weak since young but never once did I cry when I fell sick, no matter how terrible I felt. I've always suffered from injuries too, falling down and hurting myself were all part of a daily life. I never shed a single tear either. I was always tough, I welcome the pain, even. I never ever cry and sob over tiny things such as a flu or a cut.

And yet now, already such a grown up, I cried because I was sick.

Did I really fell that terrible? Or was I crying for something else? I don't know, I really don't know.

I wonder how much will power affects your rate of healing? I was going to see a friend I missed for such a long time this Thursday, and I was worried I wouldn't be able to make it due to my falling ill, so my illness didn't even last for 24 hours. I'm well enough right now, just a little bit of sore throat and all. Even I'm surprised, since the last time I fell ill I took a week to recover.

And now I need to cancel the outing because of another appointment.

Is this all part of growing up, I wonder? Would adulthood be filled with so many decisions and troubles? Suddenly, staying 17 forever would be what I really want...

I feel so bad... Here I was, ranting on about people not contacting me, people being too busy and grown-up, people not caring about their friendships anymore, and I can't even make it to one single hang-out a well-meaning friend organised.

I feel selfish. I really feel so damn selfish.

By the time I come back from NS, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to see many of you again. I just want to see all of you one more time...

Ses Yeux...

2009-10-14T00:05:00.000-07:00

He seldom smiles, but I know he enjoys every minute of life as it slips past his observant eyes at a steady pace. He rarely laughs, only that occasional upward turn of his lips as he merely indicates the slightest bit of his amusement. But he tries to remain serious, always. He tries his best not to show that he is as much affected by the tides of emotions as we are.

He tries too hard, too hard indeed. When nobody ever gave him the responsibility to watch over others with his silent gaze, yet he still takes it up as his duty. He thinks too much, too much for his own good. And they say one who thinks well rarely utters his thoughts. Yet it shows, on his serious, calm demeanour; the burden, the weight of a thousand cares and duties just waiting to be fulfilled in his raging sea of thoughts.

He never was the most popular guy around, there were others far more handsome than he. But he has his far share of admirers, and a great many elders respect his talents. They set him difficult tasks, they watch him pass his tests, they give him harsher duties. And each time I know he does his best, although he would never be fully recognised for the genius he truly is. But still there are whispers, the whispered words behind closed doors, that it is such a pity, his talent will never be truly recognised.

Again, he smiles. Yet a frown rests heavily over his brows, and the grip of haunting dreams shows its scars across his forehead. I long to reach out and touch the tips of my fingers to his pale skin, to show how much I worry for his well being as well, but I cannot. He wouldn't let me.

He sees things that others cannot, and not just those things that are invisible. He sees the things that are clearly there, yet others fail to notice their existence. Each move we make, each time we laugh, even the times when our eyes light up in joy, his eyes capture the slight beauty of that small, simple action, and holds it dear forever.

He's leaving now, and he doesn't look back. I long to call out to him, to beg him to stay, but the mere sight of his back in the distance, and his hair swaying in the wind, makes me want to cry. For he is already long gone. He has already chosen to walk his way, and those who are important to him are merely purposes to keep him alive, not memories to keep him with us. He will live for those whom he loves, but loving them was never his option. His clear eyes hide the sorrow of loneliness, but I can feel their pain.

I am not strong enough, nor am I tough. I cannot restrain him, nor can I change his ways. All I can do for him is pray and pray, and maybe just hope that he will be free from his worries and his burdens, never again to be shackled by the weight of his responsibility. He deserves to spread his wings, he deserves to fly in the clear blue sky he has watched me savour in delight. He deserves to love, and deserves to live the way he wants to.

His pure, clear eyes deserve to experience more of the joys he was never entitled to have. And he deserves to know the feeling of loving and be loved, not just as a sense of duty that he must protect.

And so, I desperately want, I fervently pray, that this caged bird can chart its own destiny, that this caged bird can fly away freely... Without me.

But I will miss his honest gaze, and his pure, clear eyes that seem mesmerised by the world, and yet has mesmerised me.

Back from Trials~

2009-10-02T08:25:00.000-07:00

I'm back~~~

And we only have one more subject to go on monday. YAY! Physics was harder than expected today, and even I, the great genius, (er-hem) had to crack my brains over the calculations needed. Ok, fine, I never really was a physics genius to begin with. :P So much for the self praise...

In any case, I just realised how little time we have left together. We don't have much time before we graduate and leave school. Then we'll never get to spend recess together, we'll never get to run around corridors like crazy, we'll never get to make a big hoo-hah in class like idiots again. We'll never ever, in short, get to be innocent little school children and troublemaking teenagers again.

Sad, ain't it? But it's all part of growing up, and growing up is all about spreading your wings, flying away and trying to brave the currents and storms.

For now, I'm trying to get over my emo-ness. Don't worry, it'll be fine soon. I just need to cry a little bit more... That's all.

Headache lah...

2009-09-29T07:19:00.000-07:00

Am having a splitting headache right now, and then Min had to ask me to come and check out something. MIN AH... IF MY HEADACHE WORSENS I'M GOING TO... Nah, just kidding. Worth coming online. :P

Tomorrow's English. No need to study. So I'm trying to cram some chemy and then maybe watch some Naruto and later eat maggi before I sleep. I have a long night ahead of me... YAY!!!

Random crapping. Had to put something here or else my blog really really die. XD

4 MORE DAYS OF EXAMS TO GO! WOOT~~~

Waliao... Projects galore!

2009-08-14T07:26:00.000-07:00

I think I'm taking too much on my hands... And Min was right, I haven't blogged for such a long time... GAH!!! Must write more!!! Must learn to juggle projects!!! And hope they don't fall on my head and break like rotten eggs...

Ok, just here to type a few lines. Tag me or something larh... Bored leh... My blog is dying...

Melaka Trip and Night Gathering

2009-07-12T03:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was tiring but fun!!! Started off for Melaka Trip at 7 and we had a blast. Our itinery was really messy and we ended up stopping at random places and walking. But everyone had fun. No one wanted to go back actually. They wanted a second trip also. Waliao!

Then we headed off to the Night Gathering which was the wildest thing I've ever seen! And the night wind was so cool... LOL

We did 2 stupidest things yesterday. First one, we were on the ship museum (The name escapes me) and hanging off the balcony. Then we were wondering where mr collins and mdm ho were bcos they went up the revolving tower thingy without us so when we saw the revolving thing go up we waved like idiots to it. To our surprise, someone waved back at us. So here we were, waving and waving and then suddenly someone said: "MR COLLINS IS DOWN THERE LAH!" And we looked, opposite the road below us, he was waving at us too. Deng... Idiotic lah!

Then at night around 8 we went for the night gathering. And we got down at the back door but decided to enter from the front. So we walk and walk and walk to the front only to have a guide stop us and say PLEASE ENTER FROM THE BACK. WTH. Lock said: "This is the stupidest thing we did in our entire lives." I said: "No, it's the second. We did one this morning, remember?" And we walk all the way back like idiots. LOL

Tired lah... Headache... Language week coming up and I'm not ready yet! Help!!!

It's a Durian life...

2009-07-10T05:18:00.000-07:00

Today was Juandy's birthday. The guys in class were singing the birthday song to him loudly before Moral period and laughing all the way. Nearing the end of the song, I saw Junady unwrapping his present and when a familiar smell reached my nostrils, I was like, OMG did they really???

WTF lah, they gave him DURIAN... And the smell was overwhelming. Everyone was like, how come got durian smell one... XQ turn to me and say, "You smell durian?" I said, "Turn around..."

Then Pn. Shan came in and she stopped at the door. Looking around bewilderedly she asked, "What's that..." And we chorused: "DURIAN~~~"

Pn Shan was like: "DURIAN???? Siapa bawa?"
Everyone: "JUANDY~"

OMG. WTF. WTH WTH... And as luck would have it, our neighbouring class kena spotcheck so Pn. Shan asked us to close the backdoor to prevent items from being smuggled in. And the smell was trapped in the room. EWW...

Pn. Shan: Juandy, don't you dare eat the durian in my class ah...

Lol.

OMG crispy...

2009-07-08T06:19:00.001-07:00

AACK, deng Juandy came over today and spotted something on XQ's hand. It was something of a skin growth like a little corn or somewhat and he was intrigued. And he kept poking it and asked if he could pull it off. And then... EWWW, he kept saying, wah, so crispy~~~ WAHT THE HECK LAH!!! ROFLROFLROFL...

Juandy ah... Stop being so disgusting can ah... Sobs...

I couldn't resist...

2009-07-07T00:57:00.000-07:00

Ok, so today we were going to take our graduation photoshoot for all the form 5s, and while waiting, our class number one punya orang, Jun Hoe, was talking to us. And then along came En. Chan carrying tons of cardboard and he said: "Ei boy, ei boy, come help me!"

Lol, Jun Hoe's immediate reaction was to swerve out of his way. But En. Chan was really persistant, and in the end, Jun Hoe had to carry the whole stack of cardboard. OMG THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE TOUCHED THE CARD... He looked disgusted. And then we all laughed and high fived each other as he left with a terrible look on his reluctant face.

Damn, he really needs the exercise, so we hope En. Chan spots him more often and conveniently remembers the "kind" boy who helped him out the last time and decides that another helping out wouldn't hurt. Oh the joy of seeing Jun Hoe doing something other than study... XD!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~

I'm blogging during exams. XD

2009-06-22T00:20:00.000-07:00

Tmr is English... So dun need to study loh... Why else am I here blogging... Bio today was rather hilarious. Datin Sivanes actually asked us to prepare an experiment about water pollution and those people who were studying potometer were like DENG~~~ Someone actually said:"TEACHER! you give us the Form 6 paper lah..." :P

H1N1 on the loose... And assunta baru baru kena. And we take the same bus as the Assunta girls. Whee~ The bus uncle was making sneezing sounds just now and saying: "AIYA! I kena flu adi oh..." He is such a @$$...

Yesterday was Father's day, and my father's car decided it was the perfect time to go on strike. So Dad was trying to press the switch and unlock the car but couldn't work. And we were wondering how to get back from church without the car. Then Dad decided to use the keys to unlock the door and by doing so he set the alarm off. Waliao. And he dunno how to off. So here we were, sitting in the car like idiots and listening to the alarm go WEEYUWEEYUWEEYUWEEYU and my dad still cannot shut it up. Finally he decided to just drive home in that current state, with the alarms blaring. OMG lah... Thank God drive halfway the alarm got tired and shut up. Or else the police sure chase us one...

Aiya, Wednesday Chemistry leh. Better go study...

Wasted one week of hols...

2009-06-05T03:05:00.000-07:00

Ya, I wasted 7 days of hols... Aiyoh... Haven't started studying only play play play every day. And waiting for the tv to on... And waiting for my computer to on... And waiting for food... Speaking of food... HALLELUJAH I DIDN'T MEET A LARGE INDIAN MAN ON A MOTORBIKE CHASING ME IN PENANG! WOOT!

Sorry, but I was scared for my life. Scared that I would be stuck in a jam on the Penang bridge and suddenly my dad would say, Ei, why got one fat indian man on a motorbike waving madly at you one? And I would turn to find, in my horror, MM... AACK!!!

Wake up from that nightmare! Go watch FMA later... It is Friday today right? Good, FMA time...

Runs on sword???

2009-05-12T06:31:00.001-07:00

Just a short note, cos I was wondering...

Running onto a sword? I got the impression of this:

Cassius: Hold my sword for me, and bear it well!

Slave: Like this? Oh master?

Cassius: No, no... Higher a bit... No, no... Like that, like that... Wait, wait, wait! Stop! Oh, little bit lower... Ok... Ok... STOP! Just right! Now dunt move ah. (Runs and impales self on sword)

Cassius: Aiya, not deep enough. Hold the sword higher a bit. I dint hit my intestines.

Slave: Ok, sir.

Cassius: YEAARRRGGHHH!!! (quoting barbys from barb village in rs...) *runs and impales self on sword and dies.*

Any comments? How else can someone run to a sword ah? I was kinda wondering about the relationship between a human and a sword ever since that... Oh S*** in the name of holy excrement... That stupid doujinshi... KANDA IS NOT IN LOVE WITH MUGEN!!!! I KILL YOU!!!!!!!

End of short memo.

Give me your hand, Thou fair Brutus!

2009-05-12T06:11:00.000-07:00

I love Literature Class. And even more so since we started Julius Caesar... My God that book is yeng... And it's proof that Shakespeare is gay!!!

Today we did Act 4, Scene 3, where conflict is arising and Brutus and Cassius say some really gay stuff to each other...

(quoting Cassius)
Cassius: Do not presume much upon my love, I may do that I shall be sorry for.

(Cassius rants about wanting to die because Brutus doesn't love him)

Cassius: Come, Anthony, and young Octavius, come! Revenge yourselves alone on Cassius, for Cassius is aweary of the world. Hated by the one he loves, braved by his brother, checked like a bondman, all his faults observed, set in a notebook, learned, and conned by rote to cast into my teeth. Oh, I could weep my spirit from mine eyes. There is my dagger, and here my naked breast (Oh Gods above, Prasanth asked if he was bi...) within, a heart dearer than Pluto's mine, richer than gold. If that thou beest a Roman, take it forth. I that denied thee gold, will give my heart, strike as thou didst at Caesar. For I know, when thou didst hate him worst, thou lovedst him better(And now they're arguing about who gets loved better) than ever thou lovedst Cassius.

(More rantings about how Brutus doesn't love him)

Brutus: When I spoke that, I was ill-tempered too.

Cassius: Do you confess so much? Give me your hand.

Brutus: And my heart too.

Cassius: Oh Brutus!

(Mind you, they're both guys)

(Then they both drink till they're drunk, and Brutus summons two men to sleep with him in his tent. Wow. Talk about great service...)

Brutus: Give me the gown. Where is thy instrument?

Lucius: Here in the tent.

Brutus: What, thou speakest drowsily? Poor knave, I blame thee not; thou art o'er-watched. Call Claudius and some other of my men; I'll have them sleep on cushions in my tent.

(End of quoting)

Well, we learned a lot from Julius Caesar, I can tell you that. For one thing, I learned that Romans have no brains. They apparently, killed for no reason other than Caesar was being too ambitious. Next, they seem oddly, inclined towards the same sex. And thirdly, they are total idiots as they seem to enjoy committing suicide for no reason.

Act 5 is the last act, and lemme tell you what happens. Brutus, Cassius, Titinius, and the other conspirators battle against Mark Anthony and Octavius at Phillippi and they set up camp at different locations. Cassius, worried about Brutus, sends his best friend Titinius to go check out what happens. Then he panics about Titinius as well and sends his slave to go find out what happens to Titi.

His slave, (must've been short-sighted) reported that Titinius is surrounded by soldiers and taken captive. Cassius immediately feels bad and sad and asks his slave to hold his sword for him. Then he runs onto it. Idiot.

Titinius, in actual fact, was met by Brutus's soldiers and told that everything is fine. So he happily goes back to see Cassius only to find his friend's dead body. And well, he runs on his sword and dies as well. Dang.

Later, Cato is slain, and Brutus also runs on his sword as his servant holds it. What the...

Xiaoqi immediately says that this is awfully familiar. Just like Romeo and Juliet.

"No! It's Romeo and Romeo!!!" She shouts.

Well said. XD I love lit...

Mother's Day Educational...

2009-05-11T00:22:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day was yesterday, and we had dinner at my pastor's house. After the meal, the adults were happily chatting away and the kids tumbled upstairs to play. I was the only 17 year old there... So yeah, guess what they made me do?

I cannot believe that teeny tiny little kids of 6 can be so... Powerful... Geng man... They forced me to play hide and seek with them and one even landed a punch on my stomach to prove his point. So with an aching belly, I had to run around and hide while 5 of them, yes, 5... Happily pulled me out of where ever I could conceal myself into.

After much persuasion, (and painful fighting) I manage to convince them to stop running around and just stick to jumping on double decker beds. (I had hoped that one might hit the fan as he jumped but too bad... XD) And to my utmost horror, the kids started... Err... Let's just say we had a sex education talk... Not me initiate lah, of course.

I really can't believe it. Kids of 6 years old can talk about stripping and birds and taking off underpants. So being a good big sister, I decided to teach the kids about what it really means to take off your underwear. I got them to sit down just as one was screaming: "TAKE OFF MY UNDERPANTS AND SHOW TO EVERYONE!!!" (Oh God...)

I laughed innocently and said: "You know kids, there's this crazy guy outside my school who does just that. He takes off his underwear and shows off to us and now the police are after him. We are even advised to bring scissors along just in case!"

The kids fell silent and one asked: "Crazy?" so I told him yes, people who take off their underwear in public ARE crazy. The one who was happily shouting about his undies was so quiet I think he must have expected the police to show up and detain him just for shouting about wanting to flash.

Then his sister asked: "Why scissors?" Oh yay, my favourite topic. Still beaming, I told them: "To cut something."

Wah, what they were imagining I don't know. Their answers were hilarious. "Cut what? Cut what? Oh I know, cut his underwear!" "I know, big sis! Cut a heart shape in his underwear so he will never run around showing off again!" And I was smiling and saying : "Yes, yes, children, cut the underwear so he won't act crazy again..."

What an educational night, eh? At least they will know what to do if a flasher comes up to them. Cut his underwear... LOL! I had a good laugh the whole night.

I should consider becoming a sex education speaker. I think I can educate the little ones rather well...

SPORTS DAY!!!

2009-05-08T00:29:00.000-07:00

My final sports day ever. And we didn't win. Bcos of our perbarisan. DANG!

Merah and Biru... Poor souls... Their khemah rocks lah... What a pity... and for the first time I actually hear ppl cheering for other houses. It was a nice and kind thought. I've always felt the feeling of sportsmanship during sports day.

Now my body is really sticky and sweaty and I need a bath. Extremely hot weather... I ate 3 ice creams and I still feel the heat... Now I feel like an ice cream too... MELTING!!!

Gotta go get a bath. Really sticky lah... Hate this feeling... EWW!!!

First post up!

2009-05-07T07:22:00.000-07:00

I'M HERE! What, no welcome? Not even a party or anything? Or a hug? Aww... Nevermind, I know everyone's busy anyway. That's ok. Just happy to be able to blog now.

Actually the main reason I started this blog is to accompany a friend who's going to start her blog once her connection gets working again. So to pass the time now, I think I will write something lah. Not about me, bcos you want, you can go read from my profile. Maybe about my lessons... Oh that reminds me!

We have been having amazingly funny essay lessons. Really lol lah... Guess who's my teacher? Hmm, maybe I should edit our lessons into a drama script for easy understanding. Here goes:

List of characters:
Me: Me lah, who else...
MM: Our teacher. Any guesses as to who he is?
XQ: The girl beside me
UV: The most notoriously irritating guy in my class.
RG: Random Guy. Each RG may be a different person, any random person. I can't possibly remember siapa kata apa right? I just know someone said something.
Class: Meaning class speaks in unison

Scene 1: After a year of useless English lessons, MM decided suddenly to start essay lessons! As far as I remember ah, we only wrote one full essay last year. No wonder our grades so good... So MM kick started our essay writing with a dictation! Says him, as we listen and write it down, we can learn...

MM: OK CLASS. (Here I have to use capitals because it's to show the difference in noise volume) TAKE OUT PAPER TAKE OUT PAPER! EI BOY! WHERE'S YOUR PAPER? OK, now we start. Ah, THIS ESSAY AH, I have a FEELING that this topic will SURE come out for SPM. Or something similar lah. OK, TITLE: MY. FAVOURITE. AUNT.

Class: WHAT???

MM: I. CANNOT. HELP... BUT ADMIRE THE IMMACULATELY(Here many people spelt it wrongly, me included. What, my english not perfect what...) DRESSED AND BEAU---TIFUL LADY. AT THE AGE OF FORTY-FIVE, SHE HOLD HERSELF VERY WELL AND HAS THE... THE WHAT? THE WHAT? I WANT YOU ALL TO THINK! She has the WHAT to go with it?

RG1: The flabs?

RG2: The fats?

MM: NO! The CHARM and the GRACE to go with it! I hope to be like her someday. She is... Nah, put your own auntie name there. My MATERNAL AUNT.

Class: Ok...

MM: OK NEXT PARAGRAPH NEXT PARAGRAPH. Aunt... Your auntie name lah, stands at... Put how tall she is. (I put 133 cm, my aunts are tiny), with a PETITE, SLIM FIGURE (At 45???) and D... WHAT STARTS WITH D? CAN DESCRIBE FEATURES ONE...

RG: Disgusting...

MM: WHAT LAH. DIS-TIN-GUISH-ED! NO LOOKING! DUNNO HOW TO SPELL DUNT ASK FRIEND. OK, continue. She has... a WHAT COMPLEXION?

Class: Dark...

MM: Fair lah. COMMA... SMILING... EYES... AND LUSTROUS... (Pauses to get answer from us again, he didn't expect this...)

RG: BREASTS!!!

MM: (Must have been deaf, didn't hear it but continued...) ... BLACK...

Class: (Bursts out laughing and still MM doesn't know why we're laughing...)

MM: OI, WHY LAUGHING? CONTINUE! LUSTROUS, (We laugh) BLACK, (We laugh) SHOULDER HYPHEN LENGTH HAIR.

RG: Cheh...

MM: OK, now we see her FACE. HER FACE IS AS SMOOTH AS...? SMOOTH AS WHAT, OI?

RG1: TAUFU~~~

RG2: OH, I know! A BABY'S BACKSIDE!

MM: (He heard it this time.) TAUFU AH? (Laughs) NO! SILK~~~ AND SHE HAS ROSY CHEEKS, AND WHAT LIPS? HOW YOU DESCRIBE LIPS?

RG: Juicy...

MM: (Ignores) LUSCIOUS PINK LIPS! AM I GOING TOO FAST?

Class: Noo...

MM: OK CONTINUE. NO PEEPING AH... HER SLENDER. SMOOTH. NECK... HAS ALWAYS DISPLAYED THE MANY...

RG: HICKIES!

MM: WHAT??!!

RG: Lovebites lah teacher!

MM: *sweatdrops* You all ah... NECKLACES! AND HER HOURGLASS FIGURE...

Me: Hourglass? At 45?

MM: Ya, why not? HER HOURGLASS FIGURE IS THE ENVY... OF...???

Class: ALL THE FATHERS...

MM: Fathers your head lah. EVERYONE THAT SEES HER.

(Bell rings. MM marks our 2 paragraphs and then marches out saying he will continue the next day.)

Well, basically that was part 1 of our lesson, which I have dubbed ESSAYS WITH MICHAEL: PART 1. Part 2 will be added soon, I promise. And yes, the aunt will become much more disgusting from here on...

Have to sleep lah... Didn't get enough sleep for the whole week adi... And people keep calling me halfway during my naps or, like SOMEONE AH... Call me at 1.30 am... My God... MIN GET SOME REST! I'M REALLY WORRIED LAH!

Is this too long a blog? Seems so... Sorry loh, I'm very long winded...

PAO, GET YOUR ASS HERE FAST OR I'LL BE VERY LONELY!!!